TheGreenStreet's Blog

I am enigmatic.... i always tend to.

I live in the extremes of my varying mood.

I am the quite type in most occasions.

I wanted to be loud at times but i simply am not...

But I do get loud on some activities that you may not expect me to do...

I love hiking, running, and biking. I want to have more but all of the other sports that i can get in touch with right now require swimming skills. God! I can’t even float!

Most of the time, I tend to sulk in my imagined world.

I sometimes think of myself as a green fairy living in a land of whatever it is that’s sweet..

I love books and movies that explore on the surreal side of life.

Also, I enjoy watching such kinds with my sweetie...

I love to draw and doodle!   

I usually have fashion and cartoon sketches on all of the last few pages of my notebooks.

I missed dancing! I used to dance since kindergarten till my first year college in MC.

I like singing! But I never get to practice this one... L

There it is. Things that I do and I can offer.

Someday..

I’ll be a graphic designer or a costume designer or a production designer...  basta designer.

I will be with my sweetie and live happily ever after...

I will learn how to swim...

I will be in NY...

I will be rich...

Im back one again to my tomb. lifeless, unwanted, full of resentment. maybe i need this.. maybe this is the right time... maybe i am supposed to be hurt, to stumble, to cry... just to realize that im not going any further with what i believe i already had (maybe in a small quantity but yeah, atleast i believe i have). maybe i was really below everybody else and it is a real big-time call for adjustment, now.

i should have saved my face from shame if i had resigned earlier.. i should have known that im not adequate enough to even pass average. but i didnt. is this fate? earlier this day all i could think of is to disappear... like what i used to do in varying circumstances i had in life... with school and relationships... but i want a more mature decision now...

is it right to give my self another chance? if i quit now, then it will be like quitting because i was given a disapproval mark. also, i definitely can save myself if ever i didnt pass this addl training.

if i continue, they're gonna assess me for a week... they said i lack confidence and that's what i needed to improve on.. how are they gonna help me with that?? what if they fail? what if i wasnt able to thrive past my anxiety in public speaking?

how am i gonna save myself?

saddest point ever.. i could cry any moment... now i am.

Gosh!!! i hate this! everythn that ive written earlier was gone in a blink.

Now, very BRIEF.

 -PAPER HASSLES. my 'paper processing' incapability.  i'll ask my mom if i can handle our billings and other boring paper stuff. hope this can work cause my mom is really glued to our money. its never too late to learn: the saying that should always work to those who wants to 'work it!'. eek eek.

-my first at CUBAO EXPO. cool artsy shops. There are cool vintage shops, shoes and clothes shops, and cafes, among others. there’s a resto/bar called mogwai in there and its really a nice place to hang out. hope i could stay there with friends and feel the 'artsyness' vibe in the area. WEIRD ME: A guy approached and offered me a hand shake. I returned the offer and signalled right away that I am in a hurry to go home. I was shocked and kind of scared during that time because i remembered how Kim was followed by really weird guy who told her that he has a syphilis–infected left eye.crazy. Well, he does seem to have a pair of healthy eyes but he somehow looks drugged-i dnt know.  I figured that i was in an artsy place and he MAYBE one of the artists thats working there. He may looked drugged but MAYBE thats just how he dresses up. Some artists i know dresses like him.  I felt stupid and guilty thinking over that he may just be a simple and normal guy who just wanted to ask me a few things. Waahh. I’m the one who’s weird. If ever we meet somewhere sometime, i’ll apologize.

i also want to have two of these pieces. 

Got to have the famous Holand hopia next time i visit cubao expo. and shoes too!

-my first ride alone with bogie is to Palanan Makati. whew! good thing i didn't gt lost. the map i bought from nb is really helpful.  HOWEVER, bogies good ole tire broke down. my front-left tire  got stripped about an arm lenght and was creating a really loud noise as it  hits bogie everytime the wheel turns. youch! i was slowly moving along sen. gil puyat with my hazards on while talking to dad on the phone when I passed by uni oil. I asked the kuya's to change the tire and they did it well. great relief that i didnt have to look somewhere for a station/shop coz i if i have to do turns beyond my route, id probably got lost.

-went to BIR pasay for my TIN then headed to MOA for an adventure walk in search for a Quickly store . Uhmm love the taro pudding! I was, of course, sort of lost in MOA and my stomach is also yelling for a carb-full intake. SCARY MOMENT! A totally weird guy was stalking me! I heard a guy said “hi ganda” as i passed near the place where he seems to stay. I ignored the guy and walked toward the escalator to the 2nd floor. From the escalator i took a peek on the guy. He’s med built, dark, about 40 plus in age and looking like a med-sized goon in a blue ARRI shirt. Well, he may have been an *equipment guy because of the ARRI shirt but still he is authentically absolutely scary. Still, I ignored him as i roam and enter different stores at the floor but he still keeps on following and eyeing me from afar. So i rushed back down to the first floor and approached the security guard and told him about the guy who at that time is on the elevator(as he was following me). The guard wasn’t able to distinguish who the guy i was pointing at but I guess I scared my stalker a bit because he saw me pointing at him as he immediately hid himself in the crowd. The guard walks toward the place where he thinks my stalker is at the moment. I decided to dismiss my window shopping spree  and walked to the nearest exit door to spend the remaining waiting hour somewhere in the north parking strip of restos.

was in a funny little blue public ride in pasay that doesnt know where the BIR is.

PATTI and I at the CCP lobby.

and the BOOK that screams what I have in mind

-i want to feel proud of myself. and i will! THANK GOD for the RAKETS! Ms marinette will give me a 3k/day raket at glorietta at july 26-27 and a P.A. post in a shoot/event for superferry in Bacolod! yuhoo. Both for scribbles work prod i think. Good thing that the schedule doesn’t conflict my other important dates which are 21 (final interview) and 28(first day for my part time job). Its nice to get out and get along sometime. Its nice to be in touch with the world again. I’ll live with it, have fun with it, and love it. This is my world and everything about it is cool.

hehe im excited to meet you city of smiles!

ill savour some genuine Bacolod Inasal when i get there.  have to do a research of bacolod's other best stuffs.

i always wanted to repaint and add stuff to our house. i'm not a pro in styling but i never liked my mom's preference on a lot of things. ever since she learned how to use the sewing machine, she's been cutting, sewing, and hanging floral and cheap curtains around the house. she made like 5 sets of curtains in different colors and textures with floral designs. at the living room, the set of curtains used is a white with yellow and green floral prints with lots of raffles on top. the entry door to the kitchen has a small foot-length green and white leaves prints top curtain and a pink cheap floral curtain in the kitchen. she also made a lot of cross stitched works and its all in display! there's no good sense of symmetry, pattern, and color combination. although i have managed to redecorate my own room, i felt i needed to do something about this. i always wanted to have an inviting place that would make a good impression on anyone who enters it(the reason why i never invited friends over to the house/ just a few close ones).

i think i won't get to that unless i managed to have my very own place to manipulate. our place just doesn't reflect who i am. yeah its my mom's reflection not mine and obviously I don't feel good about it. i may have gotten her physique but i never liked most of the things she does. how she handles the house, how she doesn't converse with us well because she's too quiet and shy/mahinhin (which i think i got from living with her since my dad is always abroad AND i HATE it), how she doesn't know how to present herself well and manage to mingle with all sorts of people, and how she cannot take care of herself. She's boring. She even looks 5 years older than my dad when in fact shes a year younger than him. I NEVER wanted to be like her. Wish i can just rent an apartment for awhile(but my bf wouldn't allow me). She's actually the reason why i didnt want to become a housewife.

Anyway, i just started browsing through interior designs inspired photos on the net. currently on >> http://www.philippineinterior... I'll start with the bathroom and then to the living room. Since theres currently no work destined for me here in this forsaken country where everybody else who wants a quality life needs to work and live apart from their loved ones, I'll make my self a little productive by resolving my dilemma living in a house of mismatch identities. grgh.

I think mexican styles can work since our furnitures are mismatched as well. but i have to hold on with the white paint for the budget. ill make a huge warm lampshade and colorful pillows instead.

haay nako.. cant wait to have my own house.